Such is my ire at the content of the below post that it's taken me a couple of days to calm down and write this response, refuting such a besmirching of my good name:
No photos
Please see the below blog posts for significant evidence to counter this claim.
No massages
Some time prior to the posting of the below libel, I purchased a Cowshed 'Udderly Gorgeous Full Body Care' package for some overpriced antenatal pampering. Said purchase has simply not been redeemed as yet.
No strokes
Simply not true.
No concerned questions
I was very worried when I asked what was for dinner last night.
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