Ball pools

What weekends were made for.

Apparently.

Libel

Such is my ire at the content of the below post that it's taken me a couple of days to calm down and write this response, refuting such a besmirching of my good name:

No photos
Please see the below blog posts for significant evidence to counter this claim.

No massages
Some time prior to the posting of the below libel, I purchased a Cowshed 'Udderly Gorgeous Full Body Care' package for some overpriced antenatal pampering. Said purchase has simply not been redeemed as yet.

No strokes
Simply not true.

No concerned questions
I was very worried when I asked what was for dinner last night.

Halfway there...

....and there's a noticeable lack of bump attention.

No photos.

No massages.

No strokes.

No concerned questions.

I'm adding neglect to the list of issues with our marriage.

Helping out in the garden

It's tough when everyone thinks they know better than you:

"Why are you looking for it down there? The steering wheel's right here, Grandpa."

"Like I'd take lessons from you, Mum. Stop cramping my style."

"Now this is how it's done."

Easter

The concept of the Easter Bunny didn't take much explaining, to be honest.

Before I'd even finished the word 'chocolate' Maddy was outside, basket in hand.

"So I'm supposed to collect all the eggs and then eat them? Wotevs."

"I thought somebody said Easter Bunny? So why's this owl laying chocolate eggs?"

"I've already got a green one. Presumably that means I can just eat this egg straight away?"


















"I hate odd numbers. If I just take this one..."

"I'm going to be awesome at the egg & spoon race. Whatever that is."

Potty training

We'd cleverly timed this to happen down at Heatherfield over Easter with Grannie and Grandpa.

But Maddy clearly didn't know what all the fuss was about, picking her moment to enjoy the Saturday supplements:

Helping in the garden

But not letting that get in the way of trying to look pretty in the garden. Which is far more important.

Halfway there...

...and the bump is blossoming. Note the slightly ridiculous hairstyle in an attempt to detract from my rotundness.